hmmm...

lets see... how shud i start? i don really know how to actually. i need to pour out to someone real badly but then eve is in kl, lee in kl, choo also in kl. thank god lee will be back in two weeks time. this sucks real bad. my mood is like a roller coaster these few days including now. one moment happy, the other moment sad. then there's also angry, upset, dissapointed, pressured, confused, regret n everything in it... juz imagine how bad can it be....
i'm doing things tat i shouldn't n i'm trying real hard to guard and control my feelings towards everything especially..................... what are you thinking man megan kong!!!! get a grip girl, there is nothing you can't handle that is thrown to you. this is what i always tell myself..it works... well at least sometimes... yeah sometimes.. how do i wish this is in the sometimes situation now.. my head is stuff with pretty much of unnecessary things at this point of my life... aww gosh....
does everyone really see who i am or how i feel? i don't think so. for em i'm a talkative thick face. funny kinda person but do they really know me.. when i'm quiet, do they know there's something wrong in my mind? even when noticed that i'm quiet, i want to talk to someone but on the other hand, i would juz like to sit quietly n empty my thought to clear things up...
there's so much to be said with what's going on.. if i can usually guard my heart, y not now? oh dear. i've put myself way deep into it already. i know it's not good and it's wrong. but i can't help it. someone please come and take every disturbing thought away from me or i'll be real emotional when it gets over the top... huhu... i don't want puffy eyes.. had it before and it's not good.. who am i to trust??? hmmm... i'm in a dilemma...
wat r u guys thinking actually? i don't know. 1st u're good in front of me but before i know it, u guys r doing n saying another thing... gosh.. i'm going crazy man... quietly deep down in my heart, i hope it'll be alright.. god's there for me right.. so yeah.. don't give up megan!!!

fools... take this for advise...

everyone changes. change doesn't mean it's not good. however it depends. if people change for the better then why not. but what if it's the opposite???
what is more important than friendship? power? fame?
because of jealousy then friends backstab each other and talk behind their own friends back. it's really hurtful when this happens especially when u're suppose to work together, cooperate and most important to stay united as a team.support each other as a family and help each other whenever it's needed.
what i'm saying today has something to do with the band......
seriously man.. why? WHY r u guys acting like this???
how many meetings have been held to tell u guys to stay united as a team because it is really important. when one falls so is the rest. never show your weakness to anyone especially the juniors. not only that, what u guys have or do in band, keep it to yoursleves and do not tell non members. do u guys wanna be looked down??!! how old r u guys already? grow up! get a life n STOP being immature n actting like a child!!! u guys juz keep on saying n saying n complaining n saying behind other ppl's back.. do u guys know how hurtful izit?? when asked to voice out, no one bothers to say a thing. when u guys don say it that means there's no problem going on. how many of u guys against one??? think for yourselves whether what have u guys been doing is right or wrong. when the ex comes back and gives advice, u guys juz take things for granted and say we're being busy bodies.. we do not want to see the band to close down juz like tat after all the hardwork we've put in n i don't think u guys wan it too. do you?? ask yourself.. if no, then better stop saying behind other's back n start supporting each other. i think u guys r old enough to think for yourselves. u guys also keep saying to me that u guys r mature enough. so proof it to me instead of juz saying it cuz words without actions r juz rubbish n shud b in the dump!!! n i thought only girls will act these way but this prooves i'm wrong.. boys r much more worse. so for everyone's sake n your own, GROW UP! GET A LIFE! THINK MATURELY SINCE YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH and PROOVE TO ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE NOT WHAT I THINK YOU GUYS ARE!!! it's really for ur own good. take these advise seriously... or you'll never know what i can do... i think u don wanna see me blow up cuz when i do juz watch out...

girls...and boys...

wat's the difference between girls and boys? well. a lot actually.tomorrow we the MYFer's of sitiawan wesley are going to bukit merah.on second thought it's actually today.ok.let me cut my story short.went for dinner, a few of us (alan, cc, daryl, jiunn lee, michelle, evelyn, mark n myself). i keep on asking wat to wear to the trip n all which was a really stupid question which got a lot of answers from everyone.wear clothes la.bla bla bla..... which leads to y girls so ma fan wan.but actually we're not ma fan but just to make sure tobring everything we need.then after dinner went to daryl's place a while then after tat alan, lee n eve came to my house. guess wat we did. haha. picking swimming costumes. but. it's too short, it's too low cut but the best thing is... it looks really good on you. haha.alan agreed as well so it must not be that bad since he's such a fussy guy who loves to complain.how good is it to be a boy, wear anything and bring anything also can. so easy. but girls are not bad too.got to go sleep de or tomorrow cant't wake up early. night!!!

thoughts...

thoughts keep running in my mind.. not simply any thoughts but about my circle of friends.. i keep wondering which group am i in.. yeah i have many great friends but best friends? not much though.. i had one once but not anymore.. i do not know what is she thinking in her mind now compared to last time.. i still remember we'll share everything together no matter where and when.. but now we've grown apart.. it's not anyone's fault but we've just grown apart.. last time, we always hang out together with a few other friends and have lots of fun but now i feel left out.. my thoughts always think that i have friends because people think i'm rich.. not only that i feel they are only close to me when they need help.. if they do not need any then they don't even bother to talk to you.. especially during the holidays, my friends always treat me real good and come my house to have parties and stay overnight.. i keep thinking they treat me well because they know my mum wouldn't scold me but do they really know how i feel when things like this happens? i thought i was in a group of friends who are really great and all till i found out i'm always left out in the things they do.. they don't bother to call or tell about the things they're planning but i always do.. i don't know who my real friends are.. those who i didn't expect to be my close friends we're better than any of them... people change which is one of my regrets..