Saturday, September 22, 2007

everything will be over soon....

hold your head up high girl.. don't let those tears fall and bring you down easily... there is nothing that you can't get over or face... that is what i tell myself over and over again... everything will be over soon enough.. just move on and don't hold back...

Friday, September 21, 2007

oh shucks....

oh shucks.... what's happening these days man... life gets more and more down day by day...
yesterday school was terrible... try sitting by the back door, staring blankly to who knows where...
thank god i was joined by justin and vicky.. so we're equally depressed... then vicky went to do cert during the last 2 periods leaving justin and i.. and we had add math diagnostic test.. after having bio and math continuously i thought this would be okay but it turned out otherwise... looking at the paper was bad enough and having to do it? well, it triples..
megan (m), justin (j)

m: justin, i dunno how to do and what am i doing.. head not working...
j: like la i know... just simply circle la..
m: yeah i am.. i give up already man... so depressing today..
j: like i'm not.... i can hardly breathe aso...
m: i dowan to do already la.. lets not bother anymore...

justin continues sleeping cuz having asthma attack and not enough sleep...
me?? took de paper n cover up de face wanna cry and laugh at the same time...
then the staring continues...

it started like this since morning in school till finish school... and even in prefect meeting...
and today, it's not any better... god, save me....

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

get a life...

can you please get a life!!!!
as if i did it on purpose.. gosh... i would so freaking wanna !@#*?!!@#$... do you even know that everyone has their limits... you think it's funny and all-so-great... well, no... sometimes i'll get irritated when you always do it... seriously. snap out of it man... i'm not that stupid to not know what are you thinking sometimes and please, learn some manners.... haiz..

Thursday, September 13, 2007

hahahohohehe.....

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
hohohohohohohohohohoho!!!
hehehehehehehehehehehe!!!


lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!


trials is OVER!!!!

praise and thank god for all his grace and blessing that i'm still here, alive...
let's have a moment of silence to pray and thank god for everything...
amen...

thanks to spm trials, i've got eye bags which i normally don't have n it makes me ugly.. haizz..
mooncake festival is around the corner. i wanna play lantern man. it's been long since i've play.. the good old times walking around the taman shouting like crazy letting ppl know u're playing lantern... hahaha... n fire... n trying to cook on the milo tin cover... yeah... all those good times..
hmmm.. oh, n i've ate so many mooncakes till i feel fat again... gosh... but then it's okay.. i'm still pretty... haha...

*note to self: self praise is no praise, it's only self disgrace.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

high school...

one of the greatest failure and embarrassment in my high school years is...
yvonne (y), megan (m)

y: boo!!
m: omg! u gave me a fright..
..........this is part of our conversation............
y: haiz.. do u realise tat for 5 years in high school we've got no bf before??
m: yeah... i was juz thinking bout tat.. it's like since primary till now right?
y: ya la... n it's like......
m: yes la.. even my bro......gosh, it's like the biggest failure n regret when we leave school man... juz imagine after many years later when we have gathering... flash back our thought n we'll b so embarrass to think of it when we don't have any bf in high school...
y: haha.. yeah.. n the feeling of high sch n university having a bor girl relationship is completely different.. in sch u get to meet each other everyday n u'll feel tat u're still in the younger world of relationship....
m: ya... in uni u don get to see each other cuz both might be in different class...
y: ya lor... omg! so embarrassing man... even who n who n who has bf before... even who also has.. haizz...
m: yeah... haizz..

...... the conversation continues.....

m: wat do you think of a relationship where a guy is younger?
y: well.. i don mind actually.. even if the guy is 10 years older or 3 years younger..
m: yeah.. it really doesn't matter.. as long as they like each other.. but most ppl don't accept it..
y: wat kinda guy u like?? does he has to be handsome?
m: erm.. on the rate of 1 to 10 maybe around 6 to 10 lor... i'm not really demanding..
y: then must he know how to play a musical instrument?
m: i think it's not really necessary but he must at least know how to sing lor... cuz i would like if he can sing to me.. but it'll b better if he can play an instrument...
y: wat about dancing?
m: not really... can learn later on mer..
y: wat do i look in a guy?
m: erm... de guy must of cuz b some1 i can depend on cuz i rely a lot on ppl..
y: ya meh.. i don think u do...
m: yeah, it's juz tat ppl don see it... i don mind the guy to depend on me but not all de time cuz i need to depend on him aso... if he depends on me everytime then no way.. i'll get irritated...
y: yeah...
m: of cuz he has to understand me aso.. we must b able to share our problems n other stuff too..
then must b caring n pampers me once in a while.. i think it's de basic needs of every girl... oh.. he must b able to make me happy when i'm down too...oh ya.. de guy must not wait for me to start a conversation too.. he must be able to start a conversation aso instead of waitng for the girl to do it...
y: yeah..me too...de guy must be able to start a conversation.. for me de guy must b able to dance, sing n play a musical instrument... n must b handsome aso... actually (for me to know n you to find out).... eh.. how may guys u've like since high school? how long is the longest u like a guy???
m: wow... tat's a little hard.. never thought of it before... haha..
y: yor... megan u very.....
m: well, come to think of it i feel tat it's all silly crushes n at the end i feel some of them are more like my older brothers.. hehe...
y: yeah... n juz imagine de guy playing a violin or piano.. so romantic...
m: yea.. next time if a guy propose, he must do it in a romantic way... once also enough.. even if he's not tat kinda person but must at least once.. in a very special unique romantic way...
y: ya.. (romantic story)



anyway, this was a few part of our conversation only... lots more but i think we'll juz keep it to ourselves to know bout it.. haha... if wanna knoe wat's de romantic story about come n ask me n i'll tell...

k... though our conversation sounds desperate but we haven't reach till the maximum level of desperation yet... haha...

Friday, September 7, 2007

guilt...

oh shoot... here i go again.. i'm starting to get emotional again.. y do i always do.. sad n all.. but my worst is to feel guilty.. it's really easy for me to feel guilty actually.. n i don't like tat feeling cuz when i do, i'll try to fix things by myself and keep everything to me... i'm really sensitive actually but no one notice it if they don't know what i'm thinking or how i feel... i'm so sorry.... i don't mean too... it hurts me to see people feeling guilty when i've said or done something stupid... i really am sorry....

if i never knew you...

If I never knew you
If i never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me.

In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes

And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
all they'd leave us were these wispers in the night
But still my heart is saying we were right

Oh if I never knew you
If i never knew you
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be...
I've lived at last...

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
we were right

And if I never knew you
If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Empty as the sky
Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you
If I never knew you, oh
If I never knew you

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

hmmm...

lets see... how shud i start? i don really know how to actually. i need to pour out to someone real badly but then eve is in kl, lee in kl, choo also in kl. thank god lee will be back in two weeks time. this sucks real bad. my mood is like a roller coaster these few days including now. one moment happy, the other moment sad. then there's also angry, upset, dissapointed, pressured, confused, regret n everything in it... juz imagine how bad can it be....
i'm doing things tat i shouldn't n i'm trying real hard to guard and control my feelings towards everything especially..................... what are you thinking man megan kong!!!! get a grip girl, there is nothing you can't handle that is thrown to you. this is what i always tell myself..it works... well at least sometimes... yeah sometimes.. how do i wish this is in the sometimes situation now.. my head is stuff with pretty much of unnecessary things at this point of my life... aww gosh....
does everyone really see who i am or how i feel? i don't think so. for em i'm a talkative thick face. funny kinda person but do they really know me.. when i'm quiet, do they know there's something wrong in my mind? even when noticed that i'm quiet, i want to talk to someone but on the other hand, i would juz like to sit quietly n empty my thought to clear things up...
there's so much to be said with what's going on.. if i can usually guard my heart, y not now? oh dear. i've put myself way deep into it already. i know it's not good and it's wrong. but i can't help it. someone please come and take every disturbing thought away from me or i'll be real emotional when it gets over the top... huhu... i don't want puffy eyes.. had it before and it's not good.. who am i to trust??? hmmm... i'm in a dilemma...
wat r u guys thinking actually? i don't know. 1st u're good in front of me but before i know it, u guys r doing n saying another thing... gosh.. i'm going crazy man... quietly deep down in my heart, i hope it'll be alright.. god's there for me right.. so yeah.. don't give up megan!!!

Sunday, September 2, 2007

fools... take this for advise...

everyone changes. change doesn't mean it's not good. however it depends. if people change for the better then why not. but what if it's the opposite???
what is more important than friendship? power? fame?
because of jealousy then friends backstab each other and talk behind their own friends back. it's really hurtful when this happens especially when u're suppose to work together, cooperate and most important to stay united as a team.support each other as a family and help each other whenever it's needed.
what i'm saying today has something to do with the band......
seriously man.. why? WHY r u guys acting like this???
how many meetings have been held to tell u guys to stay united as a team because it is really important. when one falls so is the rest. never show your weakness to anyone especially the juniors. not only that, what u guys have or do in band, keep it to yoursleves and do not tell non members. do u guys wanna be looked down??!! how old r u guys already? grow up! get a life n STOP being immature n actting like a child!!! u guys juz keep on saying n saying n complaining n saying behind other ppl's back.. do u guys know how hurtful izit?? when asked to voice out, no one bothers to say a thing. when u guys don say it that means there's no problem going on. how many of u guys against one??? think for yourselves whether what have u guys been doing is right or wrong. when the ex comes back and gives advice, u guys juz take things for granted and say we're being busy bodies.. we do not want to see the band to close down juz like tat after all the hardwork we've put in n i don't think u guys wan it too. do you?? ask yourself.. if no, then better stop saying behind other's back n start supporting each other. i think u guys r old enough to think for yourselves. u guys also keep saying to me that u guys r mature enough. so proof it to me instead of juz saying it cuz words without actions r juz rubbish n shud b in the dump!!! n i thought only girls will act these way but this prooves i'm wrong.. boys r much more worse. so for everyone's sake n your own, GROW UP! GET A LIFE! THINK MATURELY SINCE YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH and PROOVE TO ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE NOT WHAT I THINK YOU GUYS ARE!!! it's really for ur own good. take these advise seriously... or you'll never know what i can do... i think u don wanna see me blow up cuz when i do juz watch out...