thoughts...

thoughts keep running in my mind.. not simply any thoughts but about my circle of friends.. i keep wondering which group am i in.. yeah i have many great friends but best friends? not much though.. i had one once but not anymore.. i do not know what is she thinking in her mind now compared to last time.. i still remember we'll share everything together no matter where and when.. but now we've grown apart.. it's not anyone's fault but we've just grown apart.. last time, we always hang out together with a few other friends and have lots of fun but now i feel left out.. my thoughts always think that i have friends because people think i'm rich.. not only that i feel they are only close to me when they need help.. if they do not need any then they don't even bother to talk to you.. especially during the holidays, my friends always treat me real good and come my house to have parties and stay overnight.. i keep thinking they treat me well because they know my mum wouldn't scold me but do they really know how i feel when things like this happens? i thought i was in a group of friends who are really great and all till i found out i'm always left out in the things they do.. they don't bother to call or tell about the things they're planning but i always do.. i don't know who my real friends are.. those who i didn't expect to be my close friends we're better than any of them... people change which is one of my regrets..