hmmm...

lets see... how shud i start? i don really know how to actually. i need to pour out to someone real badly but then eve is in kl, lee in kl, choo also in kl. thank god lee will be back in two weeks time. this sucks real bad. my mood is like a roller coaster these few days including now. one moment happy, the other moment sad. then there's also angry, upset, dissapointed, pressured, confused, regret n everything in it... juz imagine how bad can it be....
i'm doing things tat i shouldn't n i'm trying real hard to guard and control my feelings towards everything especially..................... what are you thinking man megan kong!!!! get a grip girl, there is nothing you can't handle that is thrown to you. this is what i always tell myself..it works... well at least sometimes... yeah sometimes.. how do i wish this is in the sometimes situation now.. my head is stuff with pretty much of unnecessary things at this point of my life... aww gosh....
does everyone really see who i am or how i feel? i don't think so. for em i'm a talkative thick face. funny kinda person but do they really know me.. when i'm quiet, do they know there's something wrong in my mind? even when noticed that i'm quiet, i want to talk to someone but on the other hand, i would juz like to sit quietly n empty my thought to clear things up...
there's so much to be said with what's going on.. if i can usually guard my heart, y not now? oh dear. i've put myself way deep into it already. i know it's not good and it's wrong. but i can't help it. someone please come and take every disturbing thought away from me or i'll be real emotional when it gets over the top... huhu... i don't want puffy eyes.. had it before and it's not good.. who am i to trust??? hmmm... i'm in a dilemma...
wat r u guys thinking actually? i don't know. 1st u're good in front of me but before i know it, u guys r doing n saying another thing... gosh.. i'm going crazy man... quietly deep down in my heart, i hope it'll be alright.. god's there for me right.. so yeah.. don't give up megan!!!